It's the Simpsons. Shut up and sit down!

This is me as a Simpsons character. This is just one element of the Simpsons ad campaign to make us all "part" of the Simpsons. It is an ingenious campaign that has been executed to perfection. Just walk into a 7-11--I mean Kwik-E-Mart and have a Squishee or a BUZZ cola. Here is a picture of me reading Bart Simpson's favorite comic book.Today I saw The Simpsons: Movie. I liked it. It was funnier than some of their most recent episodes, but not as good as some of their classics. Because it was a movie, they were able to stretch some of their comedy onto the crude side. It was a bit surprising, at first, to see characters that I have known for 20 years act a little more extreme. All in all it was a creative, and witty movie.

Because it is The Simpsons, and because it is creative, you'd think that the audience would immediately know that there were going to be some surprises during the end credits. But sure enough, like a bunch of idiots, the entire auditorium got up out of their seats as soon as the screen faded to black. As I saw this mass exodus occur I couldn't help but get annoyed. I do not understand why people leave during the credits. Especially now-a-days where a lot of movies will place some sort of teaser at the end. So for the rest of this post I am going to list reasons why you, the reader, should stay in your seats. I had thought that the world already knew these reasons, but because of the events that I saw unfold today, I realized that the world still doesn't get it and I have taken it upon myself to educate you morons.

1) The money. Going out to the movies is becoming a very expensive pastime. In some places it costs up to $9. I spent $8. If it is an IMAX movie it will cost even more. So stay during the credits and get your moneys worth.

2) Etiquette and respect. When the curtain falls on a play the audience generally erupts into applause. The cast then comes out to take a bow. Then the audience gives a standing ovation to the cast in appreciation for their hard work. The same respect and etiquette should be shown to the people who worked hard to entertain you at the movies. You don't have to clap at a movie, but you should stay in your seats and let them take their bow in the form of a scrolling name.

3) It is part of the movie. Would you skip the last paragraph of a novel? Then why walk out during the last few musically charged minutes of a movie. Walking out of the credits is the same as walking out during the middle of the movie. You can never technically say you "saw" a movie if you didn't stay for the whole thing.

4) It is fun. The credits are a great time to just chill. You can listen to the music, look for funny names, critique the movie with your friends, and a myriad of other activities.

5) Where do you have to go? The reason people go to the movies is to get out of the house. Now that you are out, why are you in a rush to get back home?

6) Fun teasers at the end. I have touched on this a lil before. A lot of movies have little teasers at the end of their movies. And it is worth the few extra minutes to see them. Especially when a story element is placed at the end of the credits.

So shut up and sit down!