I've Met My Quota

As far as stereotypes go, men are supposed to love professional sports. This generality has created fodder for sitcoms and standup comics for decades. But because I don’t care much for professional sports, I had to find some other way to fulfill the stereotype. Thankfully, in 1992, I discovered the Olympic Games. Every two years since then, some primal instinct awakes in me and I revel in true sport. For those three weeks you can find me firmly planted on the couch, finding truth in all those quips I used to see on TGIF. This past Olympiad was no exception and I’m glad to say that I have filled my “sports quota,” at least until Vancouver.

Cold Cuts

Ever since man has been able to harness the power of fire, there is no reason why meat should ever be cold. 

Attention Panhandlers:

If you ask for money to pay your bus fare, don't do it in front of the liquor store (people might question your motives).